[double posted today! See below for the follow up to Halloween. Much love, Kelly]
I am so thankful I know how to say “No” before coming to Kyrgyzstan. It took a LONG time to develop and embrace this skill. At one point I thought saying “No” would mean friends, family or colleagues would judge me mean or selfish or inconsiderate. Now I think it’s the most considerate thing I can possibly do for myself and the requesting party.
There is an English teacher who asked me to visit his class so his students could hear a “real American accent.” I agreed so we set a date for me to visit. A week before our scheduled time he says he’s arranged for me to teach English at his University every Friday at 9am! I told him that was not what we agreed to and I was sorry if I led to believe otherwise. I could not and would not teach his class because my first priority is my NGO and I’m not an English teacher. He tried to convince me it wasn’t a class but rather a club but still…. I just can’t do it. I know he is only trying to do what is best for his pupils – I admire and appreciate that – but I need these first 3 months to adjust and find my place at my NGO. I am not ready to take on responsibilities outside of my host agency. And I gotta be honest, it brings me no pain to tell this person “No” because I am confident it is the right decision. This may affect how I integrate into the community but it’s a chance I’m willing to take. Besides I already feel I’m integrating well into work and home.
We are VOLUNTEERS not employees. While we must work and function within our host agency’s rules we are, within reason, able to say no. We were also warned by current and past volunteers how important it was to set this bar because unfortunately there are people here who will take advantage of us.
I know of one volunteer who is clearly being mistreated by her counterpart. The counterpart has asked this volunteer to teach English classes 6 days a week (including classes the counterpart is paid for), research a book the counterpart is writing (which includes unreimbursed internet time) AND to teach the counterpart’s child English. Now while in my opinion it is unfair and irresponsible of the counterpart to make these requests, the volunteer is also responsible for their own choices. But what if this volunteer is afraid of losing the post? Afraid of being ostracized? Maybe this volunteer never learned how to stick up for themselves? Or simply to say “No.”
I am so thankful for my NGO. They are good people. In the picture above from right to left is Ulybka volunteer Alishar, my counterpart Shurik, Aaron then me.
ps. The counterpart is a local assigned to volunteers to help us intergrate. They are our personal guide at work and to some extent, the community. Usually they speak english as well. Shurik is trained as an english teacher so got doubly lucky with him! :)
I am so thankful I know how to say “No” before coming to Kyrgyzstan. It took a LONG time to develop and embrace this skill. At one point I thought saying “No” would mean friends, family or colleagues would judge me mean or selfish or inconsiderate. Now I think it’s the most considerate thing I can possibly do for myself and the requesting party.
There is an English teacher who asked me to visit his class so his students could hear a “real American accent.” I agreed so we set a date for me to visit. A week before our scheduled time he says he’s arranged for me to teach English at his University every Friday at 9am! I told him that was not what we agreed to and I was sorry if I led to believe otherwise. I could not and would not teach his class because my first priority is my NGO and I’m not an English teacher. He tried to convince me it wasn’t a class but rather a club but still…. I just can’t do it. I know he is only trying to do what is best for his pupils – I admire and appreciate that – but I need these first 3 months to adjust and find my place at my NGO. I am not ready to take on responsibilities outside of my host agency. And I gotta be honest, it brings me no pain to tell this person “No” because I am confident it is the right decision. This may affect how I integrate into the community but it’s a chance I’m willing to take. Besides I already feel I’m integrating well into work and home.
We are VOLUNTEERS not employees. While we must work and function within our host agency’s rules we are, within reason, able to say no. We were also warned by current and past volunteers how important it was to set this bar because unfortunately there are people here who will take advantage of us.
I know of one volunteer who is clearly being mistreated by her counterpart. The counterpart has asked this volunteer to teach English classes 6 days a week (including classes the counterpart is paid for), research a book the counterpart is writing (which includes unreimbursed internet time) AND to teach the counterpart’s child English. Now while in my opinion it is unfair and irresponsible of the counterpart to make these requests, the volunteer is also responsible for their own choices. But what if this volunteer is afraid of losing the post? Afraid of being ostracized? Maybe this volunteer never learned how to stick up for themselves? Or simply to say “No.”
I am so thankful for my NGO. They are good people. In the picture above from right to left is Ulybka volunteer Alishar, my counterpart Shurik, Aaron then me.
ps. The counterpart is a local assigned to volunteers to help us intergrate. They are our personal guide at work and to some extent, the community. Usually they speak english as well. Shurik is trained as an english teacher so got doubly lucky with him! :)
2 comments:
Kelly:
Always enjoy reading the posts! So great about Halloween- went to a few parties here. The costumes were interesting to say the least. I think you would be proud of mine!
Ash and I went to the Christmas Market that we all went to a few years ago- but we ate beforehand to ensure that we didnt eat too many of the samples! :)
We are also going to try the latke bar for the holidays this year (in your honor of course!)
Will you please resend the flicker website? I cant seem to find it and would love to see your pictures!
When I was your age, I had a mentor who told me, "'No' is a complete sentence - no embellishment is required."
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