Thursday, November 22, 2007

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

A BIG HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD!! Thanks to many wonderful care packages sent from home, my friends and fellow expats were able to have a real thanksgiving! I'll post more later and some pictures as well. Just know that you are in my hearts and thoughts.

all the best,

Saturday, November 3, 2007

In the words of Nancy Regan, “Just Say No!”


[double posted today! See below for the follow up to Halloween. Much love, Kelly]

I am so thankful I know how to say “No” before coming to Kyrgyzstan. It took a LONG time to develop and embrace this skill. At one point I thought saying “No” would mean friends, family or colleagues would judge me mean or selfish or inconsiderate. Now I think it’s the most considerate thing I can possibly do for myself and the requesting party.

There is an English teacher who asked me to visit his class so his students could hear a “real American accent.” I agreed so we set a date for me to visit. A week before our scheduled time he says he’s arranged for me to teach English at his University every Friday at 9am! I told him that was not what we agreed to and I was sorry if I led to believe otherwise. I could not and would not teach his class because my first priority is my NGO and I’m not an English teacher. He tried to convince me it wasn’t a class but rather a club but still…. I just can’t do it. I know he is only trying to do what is best for his pupils – I admire and appreciate that – but I need these first 3 months to adjust and find my place at my NGO. I am not ready to take on responsibilities outside of my host agency. And I gotta be honest, it brings me no pain to tell this person “No” because I am confident it is the right decision. This may affect how I integrate into the community but it’s a chance I’m willing to take. Besides I already feel I’m integrating well into work and home.

We are VOLUNTEERS not employees. While we must work and function within our host agency’s rules we are, within reason, able to say no. We were also warned by current and past volunteers how important it was to set this bar because unfortunately there are people here who will take advantage of us.

I know of one volunteer who is clearly being mistreated by her counterpart. The counterpart has asked this volunteer to teach English classes 6 days a week (including classes the counterpart is paid for), research a book the counterpart is writing (which includes unreimbursed internet time) AND to teach the counterpart’s child English. Now while in my opinion it is unfair and irresponsible of the counterpart to make these requests, the volunteer is also responsible for their own choices. But what if this volunteer is afraid of losing the post? Afraid of being ostracized? Maybe this volunteer never learned how to stick up for themselves? Or simply to say “No.”

I am so thankful for my NGO. They are good people. In the picture above from right to left is Ulybka volunteer Alishar, my counterpart Shurik, Aaron then me.

ps. The counterpart is a local assigned to volunteers to help us intergrate. They are our personal guide at work and to some extent, the community. Usually they speak english as well. Shurik is trained as an english teacher so got doubly lucky with him! :)

Wrapping Up Halloween

I just couldn’t carve another pumpkin. It had been a long day and the idea of cold pumpkin innards on my hands was just too much. So instead I brought home a few treats and in my limited Russian explained Halloween the best I could. The supermarket had caramels with black cat wrappers and butter cookies that were half vanilla and half chocolate. I wanted to frost the cookies orange but couldn’t find food coloring so I mixed ‘almost’ powered sugar with orange juice…. It came out a very faint translucent orange and had a slight citrus taste (delicious, by the way.). I explained that children wore masks and walked from house to house knocking on doors yelling “Trick or Treat” and receiving candy in return. I found the Russian for witch and ghost and pretended I was Frankenstein. And said no we don’t eat the Jack O’ Lantern.

I spent most of that day at center not celebrating Halloween though. November 1st is a Police Holiday and since the center is a partnership with the local police force a party was held in their honor. I was wooed to the party with promises of Plov (a rice dish with a few chucks of meat) but when I arrived the luncheon was far from beginning. Some of the police officers were outside next to the summer kitchen already slightly rosy and glazy from vodka shots. I was invited to sit with them and give a toast. Using what words I had, I said “To a strong Militizia (police force) in Kyrgyzstan.” They loved this. I was an instant hit. And so at 12:15pm on a Wednesday I did a shot of vodka. To chase it a police officer gave me dill, cucumber and cheese speared by a fork. It was really delicious after the shot and I highly recommend trying it back home!

During training we are warned repeatedly about drinking in Kyrgyzstan because there will be lots of social pressure once you begin and it’s very difficult to stop without offending someone. This was the first time I ever felt any pressure to drink and I believe it’s because I was sitting with mixed company rather than just women. Volunteers and staff gave us many excuses created many funny ways to get around the numerous shots of vodka – throw it over your shoulder, say you don’t drink, you’re on medication or spit it into another glass. Luckily my Russian language teacher from Dmitrievka called so I was saved from dodging additional shots! Malika was in town with her mother and some friends so I left the center to meet her. I was planning to meet Becky at that hour as well. She was going to help me select candy for the kiddies. We plus a few other volunteers were introducing the kids at the center to “Trick or Treating” after lunch. So we went back to the center and the luncheon had begun. Malika, Becky and I sat for another hour. I listened to toasts I didn’t understand. Avoided more shots of vodka. The former Chief of Police called from prison and people cried. The new Chief of Police stopped by for some chicken and potatoes. It was a Kyrgyz holiday day. The kind I’ve been hearing about.

After politely excusing myself again I met up with the 3 other volunteers helping me that day. We met the kids in the TV room of the center and explained what we could about our strange holiday. The kids weren’t too keen on wearing the masks so of course we bribed them with the candy – “If you want candy, you gotta wear the mask!” Is it really bribe if it’s true though? I mean, if you aren’t dressed up you don’t get candy on Halloween. That’s the rule. I don’t know the Russian/Kyrgyz/Uzbek word from rule.

We taught them to say “Happy Halloween” and “Trick or Treak” which they never quite mastered. “W” and “Tr” are new sounds for them. Volunteers were stationed around the center and when the kids knocked on the doors the volunteers were greeted with “Tizor Teacka!” They loved it. We loved it.

So that’s my Halloween in Kyrgyzstan! A shout out to Emily, Pam, Nathan, Kim and David - Oh what a change from last year! Oh WeHo how I missed you too!

Also, check out my friend Becky's blog "Switzerland of the Stans," the link is to the right. She has pictures up from Halloween as well.

Hope all is well where ever you are. Whomever you are.